Seven Times Blair was Retrieved by Chuck
by Love-el-ly Joy
Summary: No matter where they are in their relationship, Blair can always count on Chuck and his limo.
1. Drunk Dialing

_A/N: I wrote this a few months ago during Spanish and then forgot about it until about an hour ago, and I had to search through four spiral notebooks to find it to type up for you kiddies. But anyway, I couldn't resist a little high school chivalrous Chuck Bass fun, because God knows we could use some of it. Based on Chuck saying in passing "Are you drunk dialing again?" in one of those Georgina episodes at the end of the first season. This takes place sometime in the break between The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate and whatever the next episode was._

_Drunk Dialing_

"I was under the impression that you never wanted to speak to me again." Chuck said when he saw that the phone call he was receiving at two on a Saturday morning was from none other than Blair Waldorf.

"Of course I wanna talk to you." Blair replied. She was so drunk that her words were hopelessly slurred, to the point where she would probably pass out if she had one more drink. She never could hold her liquor. "You're my best gay - I mean guy. Obviously you're not gay...although they do say girls pick guys like their fathers!" Blair burst out laughing and then hiccoughed.

"Waldorf, where are you?" Chuck was pulling his coat on and walking into the elevator already as he spoke.

"I'm at that bar...what's it called...the one with the birds - ouch." Blair giggled. "I fell down."

Chuck rolled his eyes. He'd never been into drunk girls for many reasons, first and foremost being that they were annoying.

"So, anyway, Chuck, I've been thinking 'bout it, and I think we should get back together. You know, I'm hot, you're hot, it makes sense. I want you. No. I need you. Like a fish doesn't need oxygen? Like that, but I do. I'm Queen B, not a fish, Chuck."

He was in the limo by then, and he needed to keep Blair on the phone, talking and conscious. He really had no interest in dealing with drunk Blair's efforts at seduction, but it looked like he would have to.

"Sure, Blair, whatever you want." Chuck said.

"Are you mad at me? Because if so, this is kind of like that one scene in _Charade_..."

Thank God. An _opportunity. _Once she started talking about a Hepburn movie, Blair would never shut up. She was also kind of like a fish on that point - she would in no alternate universe be able to resist taking that bait. "What scene? I haven't seen _Charade_ in awhile. Tell me about it."

"Well, _Charade._ It has Audrey Hepburn and what's-his-name, Cary Grant. And they were both married. Except Audrey's husband was dead."

Chuck couldn't resist giving Blair the chance she was obviously hoping he would. "And what about Cary Grant? Was there a wife for him?"

"Yes, but they're divorced." Blair launched into a long-winded description of every one of Audrey Hepburn's outfits and hairstyles throughout the movie, which took about ten minutes, and by the time she'd start in on how creepy Walter Matthau's face was, Chuck was walking into the Blue Flamingo.

He spotted her up at the bar and snapped his phone shut in the middle of Blair's sentence about Cary Grant's face.

Chuck pulled out his wallet and walked up to the bartender, putting his hand on the back of Blair's seat. "What's her tab?"

"Sixty."

Chuck handed the bartender and hundred-dollar bill. "Keep it."

"You Chuck?" the bartender asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"At least six guys've come up here trying to get her drunk ass home and in bed with them, and she sent every single one of them away disappointed. Kept saying she only wanted Chuck - you, I guess. You're lucky. That's one faithful girlfriend you've got."

"Well, it's good for them that they went away disappointed. She's seventeen."

Chuck grabbed Blair's arm and led her out of the bar, barely catching the bartender's horrified expression.

He deposited her in the limo, and Blair called back, "Where to, Mr. Bass?"

There was no way Chuck was letting Blair go back to Eleanor's in this state. "Back to the Palace." He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the familiar home number of the Waldorf penthouse.

"Hello?" Eleanor answered.

"Hey, Ms. Waldorf. This is Chuck Bass. I'm sorry for calling so late - "

"Chuck, it's fine; I've been up working anyway. Do you happen to know where my daughter is?"

"That's why I'm calling. Blair is here; she and Serena just painted their nails and asked me to call. She forgot to earlier and the time got away from her and now her nails are wet."

"All right." Eleanor seemed satisfied with his explanation. Chuck was good with parents. "Thank you for calling. Good night, Chuck."

"And to you, as well, Mrs. Waldorf." He hung up.

Blair snuggled closer to Chuck. "Good. You got rid of my mother, so you and I have all night to..."

"...to take you home and get several steaming mugs of black coffee in your system and in bed, so that you'll have a few hours' sleep to prepare you for the killer hangover you're going to have in the morning."

"You don't want to - ?"

"Not with you like this. Call me tomorrow when you're back to normal and then, sure, but not now. We're not going to do anything right now that you wouldn't be willing to do when you're sober."

"If so, then why'd you come for me tonight?"

"Blair, we've been friends since we were in kindergarten, recent history aside. How could I not come?"

Blair wrapped an arm around Chuck and snuggled even closer to him. Right when Chuck thought she was asleep, he heard her tiny, soft, exhausted, and still drunk voice whisper, "Chuck?"

"Yes, Blair?"

"Do you think I'm deeply and importantly talented?"

Chuck almost laughed out loud. "I do, Blair. Both in the context of that quote and with the items that I'm assuming you'll put on your Yale application."

And with that, Blair did actually drift off to sleep.

A few minutes later, Chuck half-carried her through the Palace Hotel lobby to the private elevator. The doorman glanced up and then quickly back down - the Palace employees had long ago learned to adopt a don't-ask-don't-tell policy regarding Chuck's life.

In the elevator, Chuck gave up completely on her ability to semi-support herself and just scooped her up in his arms. She wasn't really heavy at all; she was in general just small and adorable. It was one of the things he adored about her physically. She was cute, and didn't try to change that about herself until the exact perfect moment. Blair was like a little kitten curled up in his arms, as she had already fallen asleep again.

Finally, the elevator doors opened, and Chuck stepped into the living room wherein Serena was sitting and watching _America's Next Top Model_.

"Chuck!" Serena yelled, jumping up from the couch. "Did you roofie my best friend?"

"No, she drunk dialed me from the Blue Flamingo an hour ago, and I went to go pick her up. Also, shut up; she's sleeping." Chuck laid Blair down tenderly on the couch.

"And you brought her here _why_?"

"You know how Eleanor is about Waldorf family values, which happens to include not coming home drunk off one's ass at three in the morning. If Eleanor asks, you two had wet nails and asked me to call. I don't know if Blair'll remember me calling, so make sure you feed her the story when she wakes up. Also, when she wakes up, pump her full of coffee and a bagel to soak up the alcohol. Give her a popsicle, too. She likes the strawberry ones. That'll help calm down the headache; Blair hates popping Tylenol. Now I'm going to bed. Good night, sis." He touched Blair's cheek with the back of his hand one last time, because God knew when he'd get another chance. Chuck then shuffled off to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him as Serena stood there dumbfounded.


	2. Heartbroken

_A/N: Due to your wonderful, extremely ego-boosting pleas, I have decided to rework this into a series. It's going to be out of order, but each one is intended to be able to slip into the canon - this is more of a between-the-scenes headcanon type deal than an AU, which is, I think, what a lot of you had in mind when you said 'continue,' but I've never been a huge fan of writing those, so this is what I have decided to present to you. The title may frequently change, depending on how many chapters I actually end up writing. Because of this, I am happy to take any requests you may have, so don't be afraid to toss me some! Anyway, down to business. This one takes place right after that scene in the pilot wherein Nate reveals to Blair that he and Serena slept together. Also, I didn't really want this to take place at Blair's, since Blair's room looked really gross and un-Blair-ish during the pilot._

_Heartbroken_

Chuck grinned when his phone screen lit up and Madonna's "Like a Virgin" began to play. Georgina had stolen the phone and programmed the ringtone for Blair over a year ago, and he'd never bothered to change it.

"Evening, Waldorf. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Your best friend is an ass. You can thank him. Can you come and get me? I really need to talk to someone."

"Yeah, I guess. Where are you?"

"In front of the Plaza. I'm guessing you'll be receiving a call from Nate in about thirty seconds."

"I'll be there in five minutes. Don't get snatched."

"I'll try."

Chuck hung up and called Arthur to bring the car around.

When the limo stopped in front of the Plaza, Chuck glanced out the window at Blair. She was wearing a long trenchcoat, unusual for a warm September evening, and her hair fell loose around her face, held back by only a thin black headband. Her makeup had clearly been applied even more painstakingly than usual, but he could also see that she'd been crying.

"You okay?" Chuck asked when she climbed into the car.

"Not even remotely. Can you take me home so I can change? No doubt you with your lecherous eyes would love to see me in a negligee, but..." Blair trailed off as a fresh tear slipped down her face.

"Do you want to hang out there, or somewhere else?"

"Would you mind terribly going back to your place? My mother is home tonight, and I told her I was sleeping over at Kati's."

"So are we sneaking you in?"

"No, I'm just going to tell her I need more clothes."

Blair leaned her head against the window and shut her eyes. Chuck had seen her assume that position many times before, and he knew from experience that if he interrupted her thoughts there would be hell to pay.

His phone began to ring. "What?" he answered after seeing Nate's name.

"I need to talk to you, man."

"No. I'm busy."

Blair looked up at him. "Oh, please, don't let me keep you from your booty call, Bass."

He covered the speaker with his hand. "I wish."

"Doing what?" Nate asked.

"You don't need to worry about that." Chuck snapped his phone closed.

"So who was that?" Blair asked.

"Nate."

Blair was silent. "We're here. I'll be right back."

"So what happened?" Chuck asked.

They were sprawled across Chuck's bed at the Palace. They'd picked up Chinese food on the way there, one of everything, the way they always did when one of them needed comfort for some upset or another, and they were surrounded by little paper cartons.

Blair currently had her fork in a carton of lo mein, and Chuck had the pork fried rice. She took a bite and they switched.

"I don't think I really want to talk about it."

"Isn't that why you called me?"

Blair shrugged. "It was. But I can't talk about it yet. And I need to talk to Nate before I start turning all of our friends against him."

"Why didn't you call Serena?"

Blair froze at the mention of her best friend's name. With a sinking feeling in his chest, Chuck shut his eyes. Blair knew.

"Well, I mean, I love Serena, but she hasn't been here. She doesn't know our relationship. You do. Plus, Chinese food isn't a part of the equation with her." Blair had always been a good liar, but, as someone with an equal amount of talent in that department, he could always see through her facades.

"Blair."

"Fine." She could _never _manage to keep information from him. "We...I guess Serena and I made up, but we aren't necessarily the best of friends yet, and I'm still really mad at her for leaving. I asked her not to go to Kiss on the Lips because I need time to stew, and I can't deal with everyone fawning over Her Supreme Highness just yet."

"Okay. I'll do my best to irritate her into not coming."

Blair smiled. "Thanks, Chuck."

Chuck glanced over at the clock. "Jesus. It's two in the morning."

"Yeah. Would you mind terribly if I just stayed here?"

"No, that's fine. I took Nathaniel's key away last week after an uncomfortable incident with the Chapen field hockey team, so you're safe."

"From all except you."

"Are you kidding? You would blackball me from eating yogurt on the Met steps if I ever tried to touch you!"

Blair threw her head back against the pillows and laughed, her first real laugh since Serena's return to New York. Chuck and Blair often had that effect on each other - their friendship was a vacation from their real lives.

"Oh, God," Blair said, wiping tears from her eyes. "Thanks for that. I just regained confidence in my ability to control the steps of the Met."

"You're welcome. Now, what would you say to an evening of _The X-Files _on Netflix?" Chuck lay on the bed next to Blair and grabbed the remote.

"No way. I don't have time for FBI monster fighting and sexual tension right now. _Charade_ is playing on TCM."

"Doesn't it fit that same description, minus the monster fighting?"

"No. It's the CIA, not FBI."

"My hotel room."

"And also _your _best friend who broke my heart."

Chuck sighed and turned the channel to TCM just as the familiar _Charade _theme music began to play.

"I should've known," Blair said.

"Known what?"

"That a night when _Charade _was playing was not the night to try to lose my virginity. _Charade _is always a bad omen. Walter Matthau is like a giant pot of curdled milk."

Chuck laughed.

"Don't get me wrong, I love the movie, but most of the time I can't stand watching it because of the memories. I guess this is one of the nights I can stand it."

"Lucky me."

Blair punched his arm. "You're right. Lucky you, to be graced with my company."

They'd spent countless nights like this, lying on each other's beds, watching TV or movies, or just listening to music and doing homework. Chuck and Blair were both in AP classes at Constance, Blair with A's in all of them for her transcripts and Chuck with C's and D's because he didn't do any of the work but couldn't stand to be in classes with the kids he deemed "too stupid to waste his breath on." They'd always been good friends, but their friendship had grown even more in the last year - with Serena in Connecticut and Nate avoiding Blair, Chuck almost felt that it was a personal responsibility, if an extremely enjoyable one, to keep Blair company.

"Cary Grant has the weirdest voice," Chuck said. "It's really..." he glanced over at Blair and trailed off, seeing that she was already asleep. Rolling his eyes, he whispered, "Good night, Waldorf," moved from the bed to the couch to sleep, and turned on _The X-Files_.


End file.
